I wish these things were better.

"There's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." And yet, just wanting to like something doesn't seem to be quite the same as genuinely enjoying it.

Legends of Zork is a newish browser-based game, nominally set in the world of Zork text adventures.  A more accurate description of the game seems to be turn-based World of Warcraft, with Zork-flavored names for the places and some of the monsters.  There are no puzzles, or, there are things called puzzles which you solve or don't based on a dice roll.  There is no inventory, or, there are weapons you can hold, which, in combination with magic spells you can buy, modify your dice rolling battle results.  There's nothing to look at, aside from maybe a dozen banner-ad sized illustrations, no clever descriptions of things, and nothing to do except grind for points.  Players may fight monsters in order to gain experience points and level up, or they may fight each other for useless fame points and slightly less useless money points with which more weapons and armor are purchased, in order to fight more monsters in order to level up, which increases the maximum allowed wager in the PvP arena, which allows faster money making to buy weapons and armor.  Great.  I've stuck it out so far in the hope of something interesting happening.  Even tried multiple characters with different goals (making money, magic user, fighter) and the gameplay offers nothing to make these characters different from one another.  Still, it's probably a slightly better version of Zork than the novelizations of the late 1980s.  But at least the books didn't keep automatically logging me out.

Parks & Recreation is the quasi-spin-off of The Office (US).  It seems like it leans on the fact that most viewers will see it immediately after The Office on TV, and makes heavy use of all the mock-doc techniques found in the other show.  Granted, I didn't really like The Office either two episodes in, and now I'm a fan, but the thing that makes it seem odd to me is that it doesn't feel like it is or could be a documentary.  Similar to how The Foot Fist Way attempted to use that style without committing to the limits that go with it, maybe, or just too jokey.  I guess I'd rather be wrong, but it's not sitting very well yet.

I saw one Dane watch a Desperate Housewives last night.  That only barely qualifies for this topic because I don't think anything should have to be that lousy.

In which this page's subtitle is made reality, in the third person.

Current Rob (Producing) is working on the SpikeTV show, has a feature coming up in June that could maybe shoot RED, and is making daily visible progress on the new radio show.  It's visible because there's a google doc spreadsheet with delightful color coding to keep track.  It's like this right now:

Current Rob (Consuming) is up to movie #1,452, and the recent lot is made up of some poor documentaries, a bunch of shorts of varying quality (including one he worked on in early 2006, which recently won a prize), and a couple of others.  Role Models, for instance, was much more David Wain-like than reviews may have led one to believe, and whilst editing a UCB video starring an actor with a supporting role in the film, Rob's worlds collided just a little bit.

Hanging around the LA comedy thing has begun the odd but not unpleasant phenomenon of Rob seeing folks he knows in a lot of movies and tv and things lately.  Not to mention in some old conan bits that high school Rob sure enjoyed.

Speaking of, High school Rob is attending the St. Rita's Youth Group Retreat Retreat, which is a planning session for the big 90-kid event weekend to be thrown at the end of the school year.  On Saturday evening, Catholic mass is said.  At the end of the first of two halves that make up the ceremony, the Liturgy of the Word, is the General Intercessions - a series of foci for which the congregation may direct their prayers - common subjects include world leaders, that their decisions may bring peace and harmony to the world; this retreat team, that they might receive guidance to achieve their task; St. Rita, St. Mark, and all the saints; ailing and recently departed relatives or members of the community, that they may be healed or find eternal peace (respectively); and in as small a service as the one being held, individual people or causes on the minds of the group.  High school Rob contributes "stuntmen, daredevils, and people attempting to break or lay claim to especially dangerous world records who jeopardize their lives on a regular basis."  The priest struggles not to giggle and apologizes later in the evening, just in case Rob was serious and maybe knew such a person.  He did not, but played the whole thing very straight, as one must.

Omegle #3

Wow.  Just... wow.  This one took an hour or two.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 You: I don't think I can ever love you.
 Stranger: why not
 You: too strange.
 Stranger: what do u want to do then
 You: I'm not opposed to a civil union, for the tax and insurance benefits as much as anything.
 Stranger: north korea
 You: and maybe, in time, love will come, but it's got a long road ahead.
 Stranger: china?
 You: Also: separate beds. You snore a lot, and you were never a satisfying lover.
 You: I'm sorry to unload these, well, blunt truths all at once, but the therapist says it's the only way.
 Stranger: are u crazy
 You: If not for the kids, I think I would have left you in the 1980s.
 Stranger: danm your old
 You: After that thing with you and the stewardess.
 Stranger: she was hot
 Stranger: do u love samuel l jackson?
 You: damn you terry! damn you! why couldn't you ever say -I- was hot?
 You: always with that stewardess!
 Stranger: im sorry but i knew u had a thing for samuel
 You: And don't think that I don't know you put our son up to suggesting we name the dog lacey. He just -happened- to come up with her name when we were naming the beagle?
 You: are you kidding me, terry?
 Stranger: i love beagles
 Stranger: i use to have one
 Stranger: it ran away
 You: It was a good dog, but I hated it so much because of you.
 Stranger: why
 Stranger: beagles are so good
 You: As if you didn't know!
 Stranger: i loved our beagle
 You: It never ran away, Terry. It's buried under that stupid "time capsule" you put in the back yard.
 You: If only you loved me the way you loved that damned beagle!
 Stranger: but jen
 Stranger: i love u
 You: don't you 'but jen' me!
 Stranger: jen please
You: it's always the same with you!
Stranger: stop doing this to me
You: oh, that's rich, I'm the one doing this to you now?
You: I suppose I'm the one making you run around with that tramp on the third weekend of every month then? 
 Stranger: but i always gave u what you wanted 
 You: I didn't want all that bullshit, I wanted a husband! 

 Stranger: how did you know
 Stranger: i am your husband
 Stranger: i gave you everything!
 Stranger: cars, jewelry, i put food on your table!
 You: I wanted someone who would spend time with the kids in the evening, I wanted someone who would clean beagle leavings out of the yard, I wanted someone who cared!
 Stranger: and I pleased you in bed like how you wanted it
 Stranger: Baby, I WORK, i cant spend time with the kids every evening
 Stranger: do you want me to quit my job?
 Stranger: What did you do? nothing
 Stranger: all you did was stay home all day and do who knows what
 Stranger: for all i know you could have had someone over
 You: I can count every time you tried to 'please' me, because we have another mouth to feed for each and every one!
 You: our so-called sex life is old enough to vote!
 You: And terry: I -never- cheated on you.
 Stranger: so you were acting? i thought u enjoyed are sex life
 You: And you know what's worse? I wish I had!
 You: "Don't sink down to his level" they told me.
 You: "Make him rise to yours" they said. What a load of trash!
 Stranger: Your friends are stupid
You: oh, and the poker club is some kind of brain trust?!
 Stranger: i have a secret
 Stranger: your friend jessica....
 Stranger: she jumped on me...
You: pshh, who hasn't she jumped on? All the more reason the separate beds are a good idea.
 You: I knew she'd done it when I saw you scratching more than usual.
 Stranger: you probably have it too...
 You: the hell I do!
 Stranger: you do, i saw you shave it off
 You: more proof you don't know what the hell is going on down there.
 You: I don't even do your laundry in our washer anymore. I don't need the kids getting a nasty surprise like that.
You: And speaking of surprises, that bottle of scotch was for my dad's birthday next month.
 Stranger: well your dad is a jackass and he doesnt deserve scotch
 Stranger: he deserves shitty beer
 You: if you're going to take it, at least have the balls to own up to it, It's pretty obvious when the wax seal is broken.
 Stranger: Yes I drank it
 You: and it's just your damn money that's going to go to a fresh bottle anyway.
 Stranger: so what big deal
You: the "big deal" is that you're going around with your '8 months sober' pin and it's a damned lie
 You: ...as anyone who has been in a room with you and that breath can tell in an instant.
 You: it makes a mockery of the program, is what it does.
 You: I wouldn't be surprised to see you're back into the nosecandy again too.
Stranger: im cutting off your funds
You: Is THAT why you don't want me to see the bank accounts anymore?
 Stranger: I GOT FIRED
 Stranger: okay
 Stranger: there secrets out
 Stranger: i didnt know how to tell you
 Stranger: bank funds? there are no bank funds
 You: I could tell two months ago when they bulldozed your old office, you bastard!
 You: you coward!
 Stranger: and you still buy the kids barbies and toys left and right
 Stranger: and you come home with shopping bags
 You: if YOU can pretend, and YOU can still drive 28 miles each day as though you're roundtripping to the office, then SO CAN I!
 Stranger: WHERE do you get this money?
 Stranger: i NEED to know one thing... its samuel isnt it
 You: bah, who needs money? Barbie wants to be free.
 You: And I told you - I DIDN'T CHEAT!
 You: I could've. Oh MAN, I could've, but I didn't!
 Stranger: U NEVER told me where that disgusting THING came from on your upper lip
 You: Terry, that's a birthmark.
 Stranger: That is no birthmark
 Stranger: DONT BS with me
 You: show a little class for once, yeah? I've had it since you've known me.
 Stranger: A birthmark does not suddenly appear overnight
 You: Get out the yearbook, it's always been there.
 Stranger: What about you shaving?
 You: What ABOUT my shaving?
 Stranger: We havent had sex in months
You: damn straight we haven't. And you're not getting anywhere near me since that Jessica nonsense.
You: It's not like Rhonda, Rhoda, Seamus, and Eamonn need another little sibling anyhow.
Stranger: why would you shave
You: It makes me feel beautiful, okay? It makes me feel young, and desirable, and like a woman
 You: like all the things you DON'T make me feel!
 Stranger: I GAVE you everything you wanted?
 Stranger: I DID didnt I
 You: NO!!!!
 Stranger: I am taking the kids to my moms
 You: What you gave me was gin. And a ride home after the football game. And Rhoda.
 Stranger: I cant have the kids live with such a crazy monster like you
 Stranger: Rhoda was your fault you danm hoe
 You: That whore? MY children aren't going anywhere near her place, and you sure as HELL aren't taking them out of state! I'll call the cops!
 Stranger: YOU ruined my COLLEGE education
 Stranger: I HAD TO DROP OUT becuase of you
 You: You ruined my high school education!
 Stranger: WHY did you have to throw yourself onto me
 You: You should've gone to jail, not to the altar!
 You: I'm sure I DIDN'T but if I had to guess, the same gin that kept me from remembering that night probably kept me from being able to stand up straight
 Stranger: jen you were a silly hoe in high school
 You: you're out of your mind
 Stranger: you even got with mr. jackson, out PE teacher
 Stranger: our*
 You: Hah! You thought that rumor was about me? That was totally Jen Pora.
 You: You wasted your whole life chasing after the wrong skirt!
 Stranger: NO that WAS YOU
 Stranger: Ms. Hoe, class of 75
 Stranger: that was your nickname remember?
 You: in your dreams, you horrible he-slut!
 You: and anyway, it's spelled Hoer.
 Stranger: Go walk the streets where you belong
 You: not like taking YOUR name was so much better.
 Stranger: I was an allstar football player in HS and could have gone all the way if it werent for you
 You: I'd say you've been all the way plenty of times, with and without me.
 Stranger: Can we please work this out?
 You: You know what Kim told me at mahjong this week? "If a woman sleeps around, she's called a slut, but what do you call a man that sleeps with anything that moves? Terry!"
 You: Believe me, I'd -like- to work it out, I just don't know how to stop fighting with you.
 Stranger: Kim is a slut
 Stranger: all your friends are sluts
 Stranger: i guess they learned from you
 You: See?
 You: THIS is why we can't work it out!
 You: Why would you say something like that?
 Stranger: Because you always start these fights
 Stranger: Why cant you just stop
 You: Is it the booze again? Are you on the booze?
 You: You know there are 12 steps in AA right? Don't you ever wonder about the back 11?
 Stranger: I AM NOT AN ALCHOLIC
 Stranger: YOUR FATHER IS
 Stranger: AND SAME WITH YOUR MOTHER
 You: My FATHER is a WAR HERO, and he deserves all the comfort this nation can afford him!
 Stranger: dont give me that go to AA bs
 Stranger: if anything you should do AA
 You: good god, maybe those back 11 steps can wait, since you clearly are nowhere near mastering step 1
 You: I'll try to let the horrible things you've said pass, Terry, because I know you don't mean them, and I know you don't even know what you're saying right now.
 Stranger: i knower sorryy baby ive been a horibble husband
 Stranger: immdurnk
You: but I'll tell you, when rhonda and rhoda and seamus and eamonn and I go to mass on sunday, I've got half a mind to not even pray for you.
 Stranger: your rightt
 Stranger: Dont tell the kids whats going on with us
 You: the kids aren't stupid. or deaf.
 Stranger: seamus is retarted
 You: and eamonn's almost 13 now. Smurf dolls are no longer an acceptable bribe in exchange for his emotions
 Stranger: do you know why? becuase you drank heavily with him in you
 You: Seamus is dyslexic, he's not retarded.
 Stranger: WAHT EVER
 Stranger: SAME THING
 Stranger: HES STUPID BECAUSE OF YOU
 You: my real regret was the time I drank heavily with YOU in me.
 Stranger: DONT BLAME THE DRANK
 Stranger: blame the hoe inside of you
 You: Terry, I think you need to calm down
 Stranger: I CANT
 Stranger: IM PISSED
 Stranger: YOU always give me shit
 Stranger: I DONT KNOW how long i can take it
 You: Well than have some sanka and sober the hell up
 You: I'm done with being the neighbors' entertainment for one night
 Stranger: i need to go
 Stranger: go out of the country
 Stranger: away from you
 You: we're lucky if they haven't called the cops already, the way you're yelling
 Stranger: i cant stand you
 You: Well then call a cab
 Stranger: im driving
 You: I can't have you wrecking the Nova
 You: I need to be able to drive the kids to school
 Stranger: the nova is already a wreck
 Stranger: tell them to walk
 You: Well at least it still has all its windows, unlike the taurus.
 Stranger: i have to go
 Stranger: for real lol
 You: you keep your lols to yourself, buddy
 Stranger: lol this was interesting
 You: fine then
 You: go
 You: and don't step in beagle leavings on your way out
 Stranger: ill be back im going out for a smoke
 You: oh great. Great. Now you're smoking again.
 You: I thought we agreed you were stopping.
 You: It's bad for the kids, it's bad for me, it's even bad for you.
 You: even if I don't know why I should care about THAT
 Stranger: I SMOKE TO relieve the stress you cause me
 You: I cause you stress because you SMOKE
 You: my kids don't need that poison in their lungs
 Stranger: i dont smoke in front of the kids
 Stranger: i would never harm the kids
 You: and I don't need that stink all over my porch, and the clothes you bring in my house
 Stranger: where r u from
 Stranger: it was a fun talk
 Stranger: have a nice day jen i love u

#1,437: Lawrence of Arabia

Seems to me most flicks I see lately fall into one of three categories, and that they mainly break down by era of production. I'd say that it feels like the majority of films produced nowadays feel unsatisfying.  I suspect it's to do with trying to break from the formats and conventions that have come before, and I couldn't say whether the uncomfortable feeling comes from having the accepted norms broken or from the new breed of filmmaker still struggling to find the next thing, which perhaps hasn't quite hit yet.

The convention they're escaping seems especially prevalent in films from, say, the late 1960s through the late 1990s, a generation back.  These are movies with strong, well-defined three act structures, and beats you can absolutely feel adhering to the campbell-style hero's journey and whatnot.  

Perhaps the former group represent the democratization of film, the era in which I can have a video camera in my monitor here, while the latter are the film school generation.  And if so, then the generation they followed and broke with are the pioneers - the first generation of filmmakers to have access to film technology as we'd generally still think of it today.  

Or, we could probably follow the money and see a similar story.  Films today made by corporations that were previously made following an auteur model that followed the studio system.  In either case, I don't believe that the modern audience is dumber than it used to be.  If anything, it's more responsive to film on a technical level, more apt to catch shots that would have once been considered subliminal images, simply from being trained by modern TV / commercials.

And yet, even though it's a popular comment to make, I'd say it is very rare, the modern movie that is worthy of the claim that repeat viewings are necessary "to catch everything."  Even with the recent popularity of huge twist endings.  For my viewing dollar, it was those much earlier flicks that stand up to or even demand the repeat screenings.  Maybe there's something inherent to an age in which repeat viewings meant repeat trips to the cinema vs. the present day theatrical release as commercial for home video.  Maybe in a previous age when a studio owned itself and was in the business of making movies they were less afraid of subtlety than the present day conglomeratory edicts of synergy.  

Or maybe, since nearly all strata of movie are made in all eras of cinema, less of the previous generations' chaff is conveniently available and I happen to have been drawing a bunch of latter day losers.  Here's the recent rundown:

• Young @ Heart - I highly recommend the trailer for this documentary.  As much as the movie itself, about a senior center choir that sings songs from soul to punk, adheres to the hero's journey formula, the trailer adheres to the tradition of including the only worthwhile and enticing parts of the film.
• Blip Festival: Reformat the Planet - This was a slightly better music doc, about making music with (mainly) repurposed electronics, like original gameboys (which have a warmer sound).  Naturally, it's a pretty nerdy cast.
• His Name Was Jason - Because the studios aren't quite ballsy enough yet to simply release a disc that features all the nudity and kills strung together.
• Rocky III - Hulk Hogan!  Mr. T!  Mick!  Oh, and Rocky, too.  I didn't realize that the whole "I pity the fool" schtick actually came from a scripted line for a Clubber Lang.  I suspect I still haven't seen Rocky II, so this is the fulcrum on my Rocky movie scale.  And there's something to be said for the 80s model of making sequels that says you're actually supposed to deliver more of what people liked the last go 'round.
• The Thing - I got to six of the items on this list because Hulu just lost a load of features for some reason.  I'd seen the Thing-like episode of a number of other sci-fi shows, especially the X-Files, but it's a pretty solid and suspenseful movie.  Even the monsters hold up pretty well.
• Swimfan - This is pretty ridiculous.  Fatal Attraction set in high school.  I'm pretty sure it's not actually supposed to be a comedy, but it's really silly.   In brief: boy meets girl, boy has sex with girl behind girlfriend's back, girlfriend finds out and breaks up with boy whilst girl frames boy for a dozen felonies in the space of a week, boy is cleared of all charges and gets back together with girlfriend who seems to have forgotten the one thing he actually did do was cheat on her.
• The Siege - Starring Denzel Washington as himself and Tony Shaloub as an arab.  What if New York City were the victim of a terrorist attack?  It's pretty simple, actually.  All you have to do is apprehend The Last Cell of terrorists and then terror will be over.  I'm surprised you didn't think of that.
• Thunderbolt and Lightfoot - This was pretty great.  Clint Eastwood and Jeff Bridges and George Kennedy are going to rob a bank in the 1970s.  I'll admit though, I'm surprised more talk show hosts and such don't keep re-using clips from this movie of Bridges in drag.
• The Final Curtain - Straight to video story of warring game show hosts, with Peter O'Toole and Adrian Lester, aka Hustle's Mickey Bricks.  Not, you know, very good, perhaps because they couldn't decide if they were making a mock-doc or not.
• The Warriors - One gang gets framed for killing a member of another gang by another gang and then has to fight all these other gangs to just get away from the other gang on their way home, where they'll fight that first other gang?  This is one you hear about a lot, and it seems like the sort of thing you couldn't do anymore, even if they are apparently remaking it.  The comic book transitions seemed really modern though - I may have been watching the recent rerelease. Also: probably a/the inspiration for River City Ransom, if I had to guess.
• Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - The thing I usually dislike about Star Trek is the strict syndicated maintenance of the status quo.  Episodes end where they began so we can watch in any order.  I suppose there's a certain amount of story told across the various series as they grew and evolved, but I didn't realize how much the original film series was telling a continuous story (even though I saw part 6 in theaters for some reason), because this movie didn't make a lick of sense.  From the opening that chooses to not recap previous films for new viewers but instead to make sideways references to them as a nod to the fans, to somehow inventing an even lazier explanation for time travel than Superman: The Movie.  I did enjoy how this fits into the mold of 80s sequels as well, where other film series run out of ideas and eventually add "In Space!" to the title, this series about being in space goes down to earth!
• Death Race - Statham.  Works as a pretty good video game movie, although not explicitly based on a video game.  Kind of in the Ultraviolet school of moviemaking.  But really, there was no reason whatsoever to have 'copilots.'  They don't help, can't do anything, and apparently the audience can't even see them.  (There's the line about how they bring in the chicks to entice viewers, but Statham doesn't have to wear the Frankenstein mask while he drives, so there're no cameras in the cars?)
• Monsters Vs. Aliens - Thumbs down.  Too campy.  Animation just doesn't hold up the competition (everyone's crosseyed, lip sync is weird).  More overtly gimmicky than most of the recent spate of 3D releases.  (At least the animated movies.  Didn't see Bloody Valentine or Journey to the Center of the Earth).
• Knowing - Something in this movie makes me not want to give it the thumbs down, but I can't tell what that something is.  The movie seemed very episodic, with each episode only barely having any bearing on episodes to come.  Oh, here are some fancy effects scenes.  Now back to the mystery.  Now let's be a horror movie for a few minutes.  Just too scattered.  Maybe the trouble is that we (that is, I) never have any particular reason to care about the characters?  Nic Cage's one expression isn't really suited to characters the audience needs to feel something about.
• Lawrence of Arabia - Tremendous!  I would've gone right back into the theater and watched this again, if that'd been an option.  I think for all the movies on this list, it can be distilled down to 10% or less (per sturgeon's law, I suppose) that I'd actually recommend to someone, and this rises right into a spot on that part of the list.

So that's approximately 4/15 this round.  It makes me wonder if 'see everything' is really the right approach.  Sometimes, 'just see good things' sounds better.

Omegle #2

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 Stranger: should the cock be capitalized?
 You: you must be SO lonely
 You: poor dear.
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 Stranger: hi
 You: You're talking to a 'bot, moron!
 Stranger: I am
 You: You're talking to a 'bot, moron!
 Stranger: I don't believe you
 You: You're talking to a 'bot, moron!
 Stranger: fuck you
 You: You're talking to a 'bot, moron!
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 Stranger: hey
 You: I don't have time to chat, I lost my keys.
 Stranger: well that blows
 You: yeah, I know. I don't really have time to talk to strangers.
 Stranger: o ok then. maybe we can be friends then?
 You: I'm sorry. I really do need a friend right now, but I don't have time to type. I'm looking for those darn keys!
 Connection asploded.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 Stranger: hey
 You: oh crp I jut pilled my drink on the keybord
 Stranger: hahahhaha
 Stranger: sad
 You: the to ro on the left ren't orking
 Stranger: sucks
 You: thi i terrible
 Stranger: i'm sorry
 Stranger: well asl?
 You: I till hve hlf pper to rite, too
 Stranger: i'm sorry
 You: I hve to think of ord ith different letter no
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 Stranger: hello!
 You: Welcome to the text adventure!
 You: Do you want to get on the highway or take surface roads?
 You: surface roads are like local sidestreets, but the highway might go to the danger zone!
 Stranger: highway!
 You: You're now on the highway.
 You: Oh man, it's backed up for miles!
 You: Do you want to turn on the radio or leave it off?
 Stranger: Hmm. What kind of car do I have?
 Stranger: I want the radio on
You: You're driving a chevy nova!
 You: The radio is on.
 Stranger: FFFFUUU
 You: Do you want the hard rock music, or the classical birdsongs?
 You: Your car advances seven feet.
 Stranger: Classical birdsongs. The traffic will stress me out, so the music will have a calming effect
 You: You're listening to classical birdsongs
 You: Your car advances seven feet.
 You: Suddenly, the music is interrupted!
 Stranger: Oh no!
 You: An announcer breaks in with a special report!
 You: He needs more money to continue the classical birdsongs!
 Stranger: Damn.
 You: Do you want to pledge at the dollar a day level or the 13 dollars a week bonus gold member level?
 Stranger: Gold member, of course
 You: Your car advances seven feet.
 You: A jogger passes the car.
 You: You call the classical birdsong station.
 Stranger: Good
 You: Suddenly, the battery on your phone explodes!
You: ***you have died***
 Stranger: Ah, how unfortunate
 You: ***you scored 14 out of a possible 1300 points***
 Stranger: twas a good run, though
 Stranger: only 14 points, darn
 Stranger: thanks for letting me play!
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 Stranger: oi
 You: Shhh.
 You: don't say anything
 You: let's just enjoy the moment.
 Stranger: sure
 Stranger: finish?
 You: ssh!
 Stranger: sory
 You: just take deep breaths, and think of england.
 Stranger: yes
 Stranger: .....
 Stranger: what I do now?
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.