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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

MST3K: 21 Years into the Not-Too-Distant Future

The delightful Mystery Science Theater 3000 is twenty-one Earth years of age.  And, as a citizen of the United State of Minnesota, it's now old enough to drink. In order to celebrate, the good, kind, friendly people of DAPCentral's IRC channel have prepared a list of MST-themed drinks to be served at your MST-themed drinking parties.  Thanks and credit go to the likes of Minstrel, SoRefined, Candover, Moogle, Rhesus, Rumm,  and Fnord.

  • Go ahead and start with a Killer Shrew.
  • Ring of Terror - vodka, lime and angostura bitters in tonic water and over ice.
  • Catalina Caper  - KeKe Beach, rum, and mango juice.
  • Space Mutiny - Blue curacao with a raspberry vodka float.
  • Screaming Skull - Scotch, dry vermouth, triple sec with a twist of lemon.
  • The High School Bigshot - induces suicidal tendencies, so the recipe is not reproduced here, for your own safety.

When indulging in a night of MST-Shots, it is customary to set out a 'Torgo,' which is a shotglass of coffee.  The Torgo is not consumed however, it is merely set out in anticipation of the Master.

  • What goes in a Gamera? - Turtle Meat!  Turtle Meat and 151.  On fire.  Served neat, of course.
  • A Laserblast?  - That's gin and grapefruit juice.
  • The Eegah - a simple, single shot of Jeppson's Malort.
  • The Monster-a-Go-Go is a drink that results in you being found several miles away, naked, and of normal size.
  • A Devil Doll - is a kind of ham daquiri.  Or porquiri, if you will.

I don't drink very often myself, but I do like a good Prince of Space.  In fact, I like it VERY MUCH.

  • Invasion of the Neptune Men - Tarantula tequilla and raw fish, served in a short glass.
  • The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies - was based on a drink, actually.
  • Master Ninja - comes in two variations.  One is a california sake with a beer back.
  • The Leech Woman - Irish whiskey and Red Bull.
  • The Squirm - is typically served with a curly straw, but don't eat the garnish.
  • Track of the Moon Beast - is a very old drink, and is made from chicken...corn...green peppers...onions...and tequila!

The Riding With Death, with a high volume of Wild Turkey, is an extremely mellow and delicious beverage, but it tends to reappear later in the night, much to your regret.

Unfortunately, although every bartender we consulted had heard of it, not one could track down a recipe for the Robert Denby.

  • Adam Chance - Absinthe with an aluminum foil twist.
  • Bart Fargo - A drink developed for peaceful purposes, the Bart Fargo is surprisingly jazzy and smooth, and ordered by the dozen.
  • The Starfighter - Starts off as a simple scotch & soda, but the bartender keeps adding more soda while you're working on it.
  • The Alien from LA - Malibu with a vegemite garnish.
  • The Mitchell - Just a shot and a beer.  The shot is melted butter.

It goes without saying, the Agent Double 007 is stirred, not shaken.

  • Red Zone Cuba - The opposite of a Cuba Libre, so...sprite and vodka.
  • Cavedweller - Boilermaker served in a leather mug.
  • The Thing That Just Couldn't Die -  is a spanish wine aged in a hat box with a stick and black powder infusion.
  • The Human Duplicator - A double shot.  The first is tequila in a holey condom.  The second, tequila again, with a condom floating in it.  (See?  It's reversed.)
  • Puma Man - Brown ale with agave nectar and benadryl, onion slice garnish.
  • Future War - a bloody mary served in a melted candle with a plastic dinosaur garnish.

Manos is not actually a drink, it's the name given to the round of applause given to the person who can stay awake for 90 minutes after drinking The Master without touching the Torgo.

  • Brute Man - Grape juice and everclear, served with a chicken wing.  Of TOMORROW!
  • Posture Pals vary in content by region, but they're always served straight up.
  • Touch of Satan - Raspberry chocolate martini with a rock and a goldfish.
  • A Last Clear Chance - A Boilermaker with Gentle Pressure.
  • Horror of Party Beach - A Long Island Iced Tea with hotdog in it.  Salt on the rim, naturally.

A Bride of the Monster is just about any drink as long as you're lonely and slow when you drink it.

  • Attack of the Eye Creatures - A delightful themed drink sampler in which every drink has just a kiss of nougat!
  • A Sampo - is the perfect choice for a classy lady looking for something to wear on a night out of MST-boozin'.
  • Incredible Melting Man - A glass of Bailey's served in a dribble glass.
  • The Giant Leech - Sucks.  Not worth making.  (High-fives all around!)
  • A Tormented - Champagne and seaweed.
  • The Rosdower - A tidal wave of kahlua!
  • The Mr. B Natural - Just seltzer. With an LSD Chaser.

And the Beatnik is always the final drink of the night - it killed that fat barkeep!

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