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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

#2,407: Justice League

Roman J. Israel, Esq. - ★★★☆☆
Feels a little like Denzel’s Monster, he's out to win some prizes. I kind of wouldn’t’ve minded seeing the ‘before’ picture, where Roman Israel just does a lot of skillful lawyering.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - ★★★½☆
I think this is a movie that wants to remind us to imagine others complexly, and that's a reminder we could really use right now. Maybe all the time, but also right now.

Sometimes, I think I review the advertising instead of the picture. After all, I've probably logged more time watching the trailer for Three Billboards this year than I did watching the film. I'm really glad there was more substance to the movie than what was on display, and that kind of sums up the whole thing.

Justice League - ★★☆☆☆
I try to be an optimist, but DC doesn’t make it easy.

Diana: I like that she spams her finishing move all over the place. It's like the ‘why not start with the giant robot’ problem. But she seems dumber now–like I know we have to keep referring to ‘a pilot she once knew’ because someone in a meeting gave a note that JL should tie into the other movies more, but from her perspective he died a hundred years ago. They only spent a week together. I think it's fair for her to move on.

Superman: Some of the whedonisms were even more jarring than in Avengers because we’ve already established these characters, and Zach Snyder’s Superman isn’t particularly jokey. There’s room for all kinds of supermen, but please pick one.

Most of the time in a Superman movie, there’s never a sense of just how strong he is. Is it difficult to catch a space shuttle? Or to lift an island into space? It's great that we see him casually flying that building around just before doing something he finds difficult.

Also, raising the dead is surprisingly simple!

Flash: He's the fun thing in the movie, much more appropriate as a Whedon-y character. I liked when they did that super-speed scene from X-Men, and the race scene. The first time, at least. Why would you put it in the movie twice?

Cyborg: in the interest of brevity, he sucks.

GL: I was wrong. I thought this movie was going to pull an Iron Man Three-style double bluff where *obviously* Superman comes back, but that distracts all the nerds from the real reveal - The introduction of one of the space heroes halfway through the movie. Preferably a Green Lantern whose interest is piqued by Darkseid’s bad behavior. We had a GL in a flashback, but that’s not the same. I bet he was in an earlier script though. Otherwise, unite the seven what? It's not seas. This is not a movie about the sea. Aquaman, while present, didn't even have a character.

#2,404: Murder on the Orient Express

LBJ - ★★½☆☆
This is the Greatest Hits of Lyndon Johnson. All the things you know about him. All the popular quotes and stories. You’re welcome, high school history teachers.

The Whole Truth - ★½☆☆☆☆
Forgettable despite the barrage of Shocking Twists.

Murder on the Orient Express - ★★½☆☆
It’s still technically period, but the story has been wrung through a modernizer, maybe one borrowed from Guy Ritchie. We’ve got new scenes to demonstrate Poirot’s badassery, and much fancier exteriors. It does make me want to go watch the Lumet version again.

Escape Room Reviews: The Lair

Company: Escapedom
Room: The Lair
Date Played: 11/12/17
Player Count: 2, but maybe we needed more.
Success:  Failure!

Premise: You’re on the trail of a serial killer called The Dollmaker. Naturally, his hideout is just full of crazy puzzles. 

Immersion: This is one of those rooms that are almost escape room themed. It doesn’t look like much of anything, but it’s full of props and contraptions standing between you and victory.

Highlights: Some novel object interactions. Those moments when you see how something is going to work and you know it’s going to be a good time turning the crank to make it all happen. Great customer service!

Lowlights: We probably didn’t bring enough people to this one. There was more than one part where we were presented with a large task that could be done in parallel, if only we had more eyes and brains available to process it. Also, the part where time ran out before we finished the game.

And Finally:  This is a room with a lot of search, which is sometimes our downfall but in this case wasn’t much of a problem. While this room does not look cheap, it trades high-end fancy design for innovative puzzles and a fair amount of process-oriented solving. I hope to go play their other room one day. Out of 37 games played, I’m ranking this one at 14.

How to book this room yourself: Visit https://www.escapedom.com/booking

#2,401: Thor: Ragnarok

Happy Death Day - ★★★★☆
Hands down my favorite Blumhouse movie. I was suspicious of another teens + Groundhog Day movie, but ended up totally on board. As a bonus, I’m pretty sure the twists and turns and whodunnits actually DO hang together. It gets so much right that Before I Fall totally wiped out on, and unlike most Blumhouse movies, it resolves the story at the end!

Avengers: Age of Ultron - ★★★☆☆
Just a quick rewatch in eager anticipation of Infinity War. That party scene at the beginning is the kind of scene X-Men fans love to read and will probably never get in film form. Turned it off before the lights-and-noise conclusion.


Thor: Ragnarok - ★★★★☆
This installment feels like it takes place in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy universe as much as the MCU.
• The music’s great.
• Infinite swords is a silly power.
• I kind of felt bad for Karl Urban.
• Even though it’s been revealed since the first teaser trailer, the script totally thinks that it’s going to surprise you with the Hulk.
• How amazing is it that anyone has managed to make a Hulk that is a highlight of every movie he appears in?
• Korg was like a spiteful proof of concept of how The Thing could work on screen.