Stand-up: Showcase at Dangerfield's 2 09/17/11

I've been getting up and performing a lot this month.  I think I've had 16 sets in the past 15 days, and I'm just starting to book some longer shows and things that aren't open mics, which feels great. I've been reluctant to post some of the stuff from just a couple weeks ago that would be new to you, because I'm still in the very early levels of the stand-up class* and gaining XP all the time** so that set from a week ago where something went well is already eclipsed by rewrites and better performances.

So even though I would say I've already got half a dozen ways to make this set better, this was a pretty successful show.  Have a look, IF YOU DARE!

*'class' like a D&D*** reference****.  I am not enrolled in a stand-up comedy course.

**In addition to living life by the rules of an adventure game (take everything that's not nailed down, save before trying something dangerous, talk to everyone you meet) I think that RPGs' system of gathering experience is a remarkably good simulation.  Also, I sometimes think of jokes in terms of modifiers and bonuses.  For instance, I successfully pull off a 'closing parentheses' at 8:20, and then fail my roll to do it again at 8:30

***Dungeons & Dragons

****I've never actually played D&D***, I just think it's kind of neat.

Time, Resources, Quality, Management, Attention, Speed, Price, Deadlines: Pick 6

So I listen to Back to Work, I pay attention to things Merlin makes now and again, even when it doesn't feel as though it applies to me or my own work. One item of discussion from an episode that went by months ago that's stuck with me is the general requirements to the success of a project: Resources, Management, and Deadlines.

I think Merlin and Dan were probably talking about guys programming in cubes, but when it comes to producing independent short films for the i-net, I find it's rare to be gifted with all three of those.  We try to make do with two of them, a la Fast, Good, or Cheap.

A video that comes to me on a hard drive, even when it's beautifully shot (or failing that, shot with technical accuracy), that someone wants made as a favor, just wants it done "soon" and never checks in or responds to my attempts to check in with them, is not a video that's getting done.

So without Resources, Management, or Deadline, a potential- well, not client, but potential favor recipient- is left to hope for Fast, Cheap, OR Good.  Just one!  Pretty much any other project is going to get done first, because the message that comes through to me is that if it's not worth the attention of the writer/director/lead actor, I don't know why it's more worthy of my time than any of the dozen other projects I'm casually juggling or tentatively agreeing to work on someday.

---

Apparently, every couple years I end up with a video that confounds me to a degree that between the client and I, someone should really be firing someone, but without any resources, management, or deadlines, apparently nobody notices or wants to pass up the sweetheart deal they're getting (or would be, if I could figure out how to finish the thing).

So why or how do I end up with such a project? Well, in the most recent quagmire, I didn't even agree to the work, the files were just delivered one day instead of answers to the preliminary questions I usually ask. This should have been a big red flag; I should have refused delivery. But I'm an optimist! I'll agree to at least discuss a project with almost anybody. This is partially because 1 in 5 projects discussed might actually happen. And I want to make things. I like making them.

At the most extreme example of experimentally saying yes to every project that came my way, I had at one point, in less than a week, agreed to cut an entire feature film for $400, color correct a different feature for $0, co-host a daily podcast about video games, and probably contribute in some way to another short or two.  None of those projects happened, and after agreeing to their terms and in some cases meeting in person I never heard from anyone involved in any of those projects again.  Perhaps now, years later, they'll all come knocking one day and wonder if I'm ready to get to work...

Machine of Death Flashfiction

The lovely people at Machine of Death put out a call a few weeks ago for 55-word Machine of Death-related short stories. I wrote one immediately, and then forgot all about it.  It goes like this:

"We meet again, old friend," announced the Duke, as he stripped off his gloves.

A few minutes later, the slip shot out of the machine.  An aide retrieved it.

"Just like all the others," said the Duke. "Where's the next one?"

The aide scratched off an item on his clipboard and got in the limousine.

I just coincidentally happened to submit it before the deadline, but because I already wrote a blog entry that day, you won't see this for another couple of days, by when it will be TOO LATE to submit your own!

HOWEVER, since MoD was on my mind whilst grocery shopping, this following true tale of terror on the high seas came to mind:

"Since when do you drink your father's Diet Coke?" Brad's mother demanded.

"I don't," said Brad.

"Then why was this can in your trash?" his mother asked.

"He was just upstairs when he threw it away, I guess."

"Don't you lie to me!"

Brad looked at the frame on the wall. OLD AGE. He sighed.

UPDATE:  You can read the MoD staff's favorites on their website.  If you're like me, and bad at reading the initial prompt, you'll notice how they're all to do with existing pop culturey things.  You'll say 'well that's kind of boring.  What gives?'  And finally you'll realize that was the assignment, and feel just slightly sillier about your own non-fanfic flashfic.  But at least you didn't write fanfic.

Floodlamp 5: Jason Takes Manhattan

I happened to notice, when I should be working, that I'm getting some traffic from people googling for the Floodlamp Open Megaphone show. I think it might get its own tumblr or something soon, but until then, brave searchers and surfers, know that Floodlamp 5: Jason Takes Manhattan will be happening on Friday, September 9th, 2011.

The picnic and pre-show party begins around 7pm.  Bring some food to share, or just mooch off everybody else.  Bring a blanket or a lawn chair if you want one.  And bring your jokes to tell.  We'll give you 3-5 minutes (depending on attendance) to tell your jokes to fellow comics and disaffected suburban youths through one of our decidedly classy megaphones.  The show, hosted by Rob Schultz and Jason Van Glass, won't start until it's dark enough outside to activate the Floodlamp, and even then probably not until close to 8pm.

The show is done in front of Burbank's abandoned public swimming pool.  There's a parking lot for parking your automobile at or about 3201 Verdugo Ave, also useful for the googular mapping. As is this TINYURL.com/wheresfloodlamp

Neither the first nor the last time I was a jerk to someone.

So, in the past week, I've gotten to sample what it's like to have a crowd and lose 'em, and to start at a loss and win 'em over, I've done surprisingly well at some very small shows, and I've continued to appear in a venue where I have never done well.  My theory is that if there were more than 15 people in the room which seats 100, or if they were near each other, this would be different, but then again I've almost never seen an act at that show I enjoy, so who knows....the real lesson may just be to stop going there. But tonight was, maybe, the first time I was dismissive of another would-be comic to their face.  There are some I don't like, some I don't want to watch, some who do the same 3 minutes so often I could do it for them, and some that make me want to start a booked show just so I can not book them, but many of us are trying and learning and experimenting with this new toy and why not be friends and share any good tricks we happen to find? Tonight I got off and a guy came over and mumbled something to me that I missed, and then asked if I'd be around after the show.  I would be, since there were only a couple acts left.

Turns out, he wanted to go over the information I imparted in my set, because he didn't quite get it all.  Now, I do present some info you can take home, and I'm thinking of and looking for ways to do more, but an important note on these "facts" is that I feel the need to put the word "facts" in quotes.  Because many of them are lies.  Probably, the correct thing to do in the future may be to refuse to do an encore for 1, but we went over the ways to say goodbye, and I tried to point out that it's not worth committing them to memory since most of the things I say about them on stage are either outright jokes or subtle lies to build up my argument.

This guy, who smelled strongly of something, or maybe a few things, told me he didn't do well with his improvised set because he couldn't see the faces of the handful of people left in the crowd.

"That's because of the lights.  We need the lights so that we can see the performers," I told him.

"But then how do I know if the audience thinks what I'm saying is funny?"

"You'll hear laughter."

"That's not going to work," he said.

"Well, then maybe you need the courage of your conviction that what you have to say is worth hearing.  One way to get that might be through writing," I said.  That felt pretty condescending, but it seemed fair.  He had just wasted nearly a man-hour with his five minutes of rambling and answering his phone on stage.

"I can't do that.  It's like talking on the phone.  I don't have the courage of conviction when I talk to someone on the phone."

"That's probably because the person on the phone is talking to you.  You're not having a conversation with the audience."

"Yeah I am."

"You might be speaking conversationally, but you're not interacting with the crowd. That's a monologue."

"Yeah I am, they answer with laughter."

"So you can listen to that to see how it's going."

"What part of what I just did up there did you like the best?" he asked.

That's dangerous territory, because he'd tied for last place in my mind with the set filled with tired racial epithets, which someone had at least taken the time to commit to paper.  "Something in the middle, I think," I hedged, "I don't remember the whole thing."

He questioned me on specific lines, which I'd have to admit I didn't like.  Eventually he asked if he was holding me up.

"Maybe a little," I said.  I often make that kind of jokey comment.  I rarely mean it.

I've only been at this a couple months, been on stage a couple dozen times, I wouldn't say I've really earned the right to feel particularly higher-status than any fellow open mic'ers.  But then, with each mic, one notices the time that will never be regained during the truly horrible sets, the painfully unfunny, the obviously ill-prepared, and so many genuinely hateful racists who fail to mask their feelings in anything comedic (or, those that are so inept at the craft that they give this impression through a misapplication of irony.  Or something.)

A different, better way to give that context may be with something improvisers talk about from time to time, which says you go through 4 stages of competence.  (Briefly, from unskilled and unaware, to unskilled and aware, skilled while aware, and unconsciously able.) I think most open mic'ers are solid level 2s, flickering their way into the shallow end of 3.  (And for that matter, many or most professional comedians are strong, high-end level 3s.  Truly honestly effortless brilliance is rare and hard-won.)  They have taste but not skill, and if they're lucky they're discovering the tools and skills.  When those of us struggling to get good see the unskilled and unaware, who it would seem have never seen a comedy show, who can't distinguish between themselves and a successful comedian, who get angry at crowds they've just stunned into silence, we get angry at them for wasting our time and taking up limited, valuable slots on stage.  And yet, it's not legal to kill them.

~

I've been listening to a lot of comedy albums lately, to remind me what can be great about this.  I'm actually liking stand-up more and more, the deeper into it I get.