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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

#2,389: Atomic Blonde

What Happened to Monday - ★☆☆☆☆
Netflix is taking the reins from the Sci-Fi (ahem, Syfy) channel for goofy, cheapo SF movies.

Noomi Rapace is, somehow, the discount Tatiana Maslani in this dystopic vision of the future brought about by a clumsy understanding of science that already exists and works in our world.

Death Note - ★★½☆☆
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy taught me that when you adapt something into a different medium, you don't have to make the same thing. It's an opportunity to make something new! Well, newish. So I can see how purists, or even casuals, might have a bone to pick with this version of Death Note by way of American YA. But it does seem like the movie they wanted to make, and clearly they're not taking themselves too seriously. Also, what high school has so many jars of stylish debris everywhere? And also also, what kind of deal does Netflix have with Willem Dafoe? Is he going to be in all of these?

Atomic Blonde - ★★½☆☆
Fan chatter on the internet called this movie "Joan Wick," and while Theron's character is legitimately badass in her own right, the movies differ wildly. A big part of what makes Wick work, aside from all of the Star Wars-style hints at a broader universe, is the dead simple plot. Atomic Blonde loves its plot. Loves it loves it. If I had to guess, this movie will be most remembered for its knock down, drag out brawl near the end.