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Not a front for a secret organization.
Written by Rob Schultz (human).

Media Monday: TV Time!

I'm not watching movies fast enough for you lately, and we're getting into a rough month for the theaters. Let's spend the next couple of weeks on quick recaps of some of this year’s TV!

Sneaky Pete s1 - Mostly a fun con man story. Like many shows today, this one tries to bring you that Breaking Bad-esque feeling of the worst thing happening to its characters at the worst time. Unlike most of them, this one actually has Bryan Cranston.

Broadchurch s3 - Mostly worth watching in order to catch up with the town and characters you came to know in the previous, better seasons.

Legion s1 - Fancy visuals, hints of X-Men flavor. A snack to hold over the audience member awaiting a new season of Fargo.

The Good Fight s1 - As The Good Wife drew to a close, the area where it fell the flattest was in lawyering. This show brings back a bunch of the same characters and most importantly, has tons of lawyering! Also, some kind of slightly boring plot revolving around the new POV character.

The Tick s1 - Another Tick, another supporting cast developed to dodge around licensing issues. I thought playing with whether and how crazy Arthur is was a fun device.

Iron Fist s1 - This show might be badly written. Or maybe all of the horrible things that have happened to Danny have emotionally and socially stunted him, leaving him with a– no, it's kind of bad, and Danny gets beat up surprisingly often for being Kun Lun's greatest warrior.

 

NotArt Home Subscription Service

Hello friend,

I wanted to tell you about a thing that I'm making, because that's the only way that people find out. 

Among the many hobbies I've picked up from Benjamin Franklin over the years, some of my favorites include designing for print, accepting unusual gifts from the French, and writing fantastical stories. That's how I got into tiny publishing. Each book is 8 pages long and suitable for framing. But much MORE suitable for reading! 

And so I've set up a subscription system that allows me to easily collect mailing addresses and pass the expenses directly on to YOU, the potential reader!

www.patreon.com/NotArt is the internet's new hot spot, where everybody is signing up. Well, not everyone, but that's only because so far each issue is limited to 50 copies. Hand numbered, of course, to create a fun challenge if fame or infamy should strike.

If you're like me, you're in Los Angeles, so you could take your chances with running into me somewhere and seeing if I'll just give you each issue. But if you're not the gambling type, this mail-order service is for you. Plus, I've got 15 copies left of issue 1, and you can get one for free with issue 2, which is what you get if you subscribe in August. 

So sign up today, if you want to! It's a chance to get something good in the mail for a change! 

Your frequent correspondant,
-Rob

(You have received this email because: a) you've hit me up at some point in the past about YOUR crazy scheme, b) you have, at some point, cold-called me to sell me a Toyota, or c) I could imagine you being genuinely interested in this project. Anyhow, you can't unsubscribe. It's not a mailing list.)

#2,383: The Dark Tower

Batman v Superman: The Dawn of Justice: Ultimate Edition - ★★★½☆
On my first viewing, I said that a) I wanted to re-arrange a few scenes and b) I already liked this movie more than anyone I know. Which maybe says more about the movie than about me.

This time around was the 'Ultimate Edition' and it's had quite a bit of work done - this isn't the exact same cut plus a few deleted scenes re-inserted. Stuff is moved around, subplots are added, motivations are changed. It's long, and a little bit of it is still confusing, but it's definitely a better version.

Also, here's a fan theory: I'm sure someone else has already said this, but it's mine anyway: Jeffrey Dean Morgan is Thomas Wayne for all of thirty seconds. Maybe he's just really into Batman, or friends with Zach Snyder from Watchmen. Or maybe the Flash movie is doing the Flashpoint storyline and we've already got a solid actor locked and loaded to play Batman. I didn't recognize the actress playing Martha, so I can't rightly guess whether we'll see her again, but look forward now to JDM-Bats and Affleck-Bats having that heart-to-heart...

Miss Sloane - ★★★☆☆
What if Nightcrawler was about a woman? Well, for one thing, she'd be way more successful...

This movie wasn't bad but nobody had the stomach for a film about electioneering in late 2016. Jessica Chastain is becoming typecast as the skillful and competent woman - as these things go, that sounds like a pretty good career.

The Dark Tower - ★★★☆☆
Some of the acting was bad, but I thought this was great! One of my minor talents is recognizing the secret identities of the media. (Examples: PS1's Vagrant Story is the best video game of the board game Hero Quest. Tomorrowland is the best movie of Bioshock we're likely to getInterstellar is a fine Lovecraftian horror.) This movie is a terrific adaptation of the Arkham Horror board game. Characters travel through gates to fantastic other worlds where they fight monsters and encounter sanity-blasting realizations about the world around them, before ultimately doing battle with an ancient evil to prevent the end of the world.

I couldn't tell you whether it has anything to do with the Stephen King novels.