A cavalcade of shame!

I was doing some research on Topics (I do love topics), and an errant google search turned up THIS video, which is a live, on the spot, amateur home video taken on the site of David Blaine's most recent publicity stunt. Apparently in this one, he hung upside down for 50 minutes an hour for 60 hours, and then...was lowered and raised on a cable. (Enjoy the shouts of 'are you serious?' at the 2:05 mark)

"Okay," thought I, "so the stunt wasn't impressive in person, but that's what TV magic is for, right? I mean, Criss Angel's tricks must not look like much of anything in person since they're all editing tricks, and anyone who just looked over their shoulder would have realized that David Copperfield didn't really make the Statue of Liberty disappear, right?" So I navigated a series of tubes until I found a capture of the televised version. You can watch that HERE. In this version, instead of a booing crowd, you hear a technician saying things like 'let's go' and 'get him out of there.' But visually....it's just the same.

Now obviously, the 'lift him up so he looks like he flew away' gag was supposed to happen during or just after the blinding flash, so that folks couldn't get a handle on it. But since it did have to absorb a fall, the wires had to be a lot thicker than what Copperfield uses to fly around, so they were just hoping they'd be clear of the lights in time. More of a support staff-related failure.

But then I got to wondering how some of his other stunts have done in comparison, since I'm not much of a Blaine fan, myself. So, we turn to the internets!

According to his wikipedia entry, the Dive of Death (above) was "not well-received by spectators."

During Drowned Alive, he was unable to escape from his handcuffs, "pulled up and out of the water by his support divers" and hospitalized.

During Above the Below, a 44 day hunger strike done inside a plastic box, "eggs, lemons, sausages, bacon, water bottles, beer cans, paint-filled balloons and golf balls had all been thrown at the box....and a burger was flown up to the box by a remote-controlled helicopter as a taunt." But this stunt was a success because it only involved enduring, and no magic. Naturally, he was hospitalized immediately afterward.

In Vertigo, he sat on a flagpole with handles for 35 hours. It ended with a stuntman-like jump onto cardboard boxes, in which he was concussed.

For Frozen in Time, the stay inside a block of ice was supposedly so intense that it took him a month to regain the ability to walk.

And of course, there was the hullabaloo around Street Magic about intercutting crowd reactions with studio shots of effects, like 'levitating' with the help of a crane.

So what have we learned? That Blaine's a cheater? That's fine. All magicians are. I'm pretty sure most of them don't get caught at it quite so often though. Even if we believe he actually spends time locked in boxes every so often and really suffers the debilitating results, he's still no Guybrush Threepwood - he could hold his breath for ten minutes!

Oh, how the world has changed

Earlier today, I found myself about to make a completely baseless comment regarding a complete lack of integrity, and Bernie Mac. I'm pretty sure I picked him because of the syllable count and how it would echo the thing I heard someone say, which prompted unfounded remark in my brain. But then I remembered he's dead, and there's no use speaking ill of the dead. But then I remembered the movie 'Transformers.'

Precision!

So my probably-stolen XBOX 360 got it's Red Rings of Death a couple of weeks ago. I went to the online form, which was broken, and I called their tech support, who made me confirm that the rings were in fact red, not green, and issued me a UPS shipping label to have the system sent back to Microsoft. Then, a few label-less days later, I called 'em up again and repeated the whole process, since they had no record of my original call. But they didn't really give me any grief about having a probably-stolen console, which was nice of them. Yesterday, I got an automated phone call at 7:30am to tell me to stay home today between 7am and 8pm, because UPS may or may not stop by, but if they do, it'll be between those hours. Good lookin' out, UPS!

...maybe it's not their fault. Maybe the brown truck is a quantum event!

How was that supposed to work?

What I always wondered was, you take a Conquering Nation, pretty much any from history, and what they're doing is conquering the world, yeah? But the world is quite large. And Germany is quite small. So how can there be enough people in Germany to conquer the world? Because the troops are streaming out of the home land, right? And, unlike Risk, I'm pretty sure you're not going to start generating troops from the conquered nations. Historically, conscription may have been a thing, and it becomes in the best interest of those conscripted (re: enslaved) to crew the ship, thus preserving their own lives, but that in more modern times, putting guns in the hands of your freshly subjugated enemies and hoping they'll get your back in the next battle might be one of the very last things you (would want to) do. So what's the theory? Kill every man who could fight you, hope that the next generation thinks of your new empire as their home, as opposed to their father-killin' enemy?

Super Sonic Samba!

If we could just get THIS into THIS.... C'mon, SEGA!