Know your audience

I was looking at the editing style of entertainment news on a couple of sites this morning, some research for an upcoming client / employer (I hope). Now, they say you can tell who is supposed to be watching a show by what's being advertised (hence 'soap operas,' for instance). Over at E! online, all the ads seem to be for STD medication. Hm.

The election is a metaphor for the war.

...but a 1:1 scale map of Alaska is like a microcosm of the state on steroids. -

I think the internet is succumbing to a variety of the grey goo scenario. There's a lot of it, it's growing, but the older bits are atrophying, and there's no method of getting rid of the old stuff except waiting for everything that links to it to atrophy as well.

Searching for information on a technical problem? Enjoy sifting through protips from 2005. Luckily, the topic you're interested in is a recent technology? Too bad it's named for a generic noun. ("Apple Color?" Great. Thanks.) Nowadays, folks blogging embedded video have their posts turned to useless mush in a matter of days, and people who [still / ever] pointed you to an article they enjoyed with a link to the main site, because that's where they saw the article in question? Y'know, along with the all of the other news items of the day? Those people are idiots. It's true!

The grey goo is self-replicating, but I think the internets are developing a handle on that too, not least of which is the delightful practice of re-blogging - posting the exact same thing you read somewhere else with no additional commentary or insight. I suppose if you're gonna do it, an aggregator like Google Reader is the way to go, but a few folks manage to make a living on it, just a' clutterin' up the internets for the rest of us.

Son, you don't owe that panda a thing.

• The only way my neighbor can sleep is to turn the TV up to max volume and let it run overnight. Usually this means Carson Daly. Last night it meant Friends. Now, I'm not much of a Friends aficionado, but on hearing that theme song at incredible volume it occurs to me, they had none of the problems described in that song. A song couldn't fit the subject matter less.
• Cursory googling suggests that nobody has yet appropriated the phrase "American Pious" into some kind of intensely disappointing direct to DVD movie.
• Here are two people displaying interesting musical skill, the first is inspired by Blue Man Group and displays some ingenuity, as opposed to poor costume skills and an imperfect cover version of a BMG song. The second, a feat it had not occurred to me might be possible.
• Also, I'm not sure why, but Muppet Roommate did quite well this week, racking up thousands of new viewers. Last I checked, it's up to something like 18k between Funny Or Die and UCBComedy. This may make it the largest confirmed audience for anything I've ever worked on, seeing how just about every feature or short I've worked on for someone else has yet to see the light of day, and I'm not convinced anyone actually watches Smash Lab. Maybe some of the Solon Community TV could give it a run for its money! But it won't hold the honor for long. The train is coming....
• And just because I've taken to greeting people the way Mr. Bell would have wanted (Ahoy!) doesn't mean..um...well, avast!

Shaking my tiny fist...

I loathe the businesses that (hire other businesses to) paper my car and apartment with advertisements. Doubly so when they go into my garage in order to stick things on the cars. I was victimized in this way by a computer repair shop I shan't dignify with free advertising here. Among their many services listed, for $70 they'll run the automatic Windows installer or SpyBot. Driver update? $40, which is quite a bargain for them and the six minutes it might take 'em. Installing hardware starts at $50, but for only half that you can buy a French lesson.

In other news, I went for a nice pre-dawn stroll around the neighborhood this morning. In order to chart my progress, I collected yellow fliers everywhere I went. They turned out to be covered with filthy Mead Bold though, so they went straight in the dumpster on my way back inside.

boom.

Here's a news story: NEWS The thing about it, the thing with that, I mean? The thing is, there's a multi-billion dollar device designed to accelerate particles to something near the speed of light and then smash them together with extreme frequency. It's supposed to teach us interesting things about the universe. Or, maybe, it'll cause the creation of a small black hole (or other oddity) that will rapidly devour the planet.

I find this either absolutely terrifying, or hilarious. And it's going to be activated today.

Fortunately, more forward-thinking individuals have already taken measures to be prepared for unusual problems...