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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

Filtering by Category: Life

‘Does not fight crime effectively.’

That's what you'll see on my report card this term. I meandered over to Trader Joe's because I felt I didn't own enough food and I saw a car idling in front of the store. I went a bit out of my way to walk around it instead of in front. While I was behind the car someone ran out of the store and before they were seated or managed to get the door closed, the car peeled out. Further down the parking lot, a guy literally jumped out of the way as an employee ran out of the store. Apparently, the person who just barely made it into the car was carrying an unpurchased case of wine.

But if I'd just walked in front of the car instead, they couldn't have sped away. Or I'd be hospitalized right now.

I just hope they don't go on a drunken spree, drive across the continent, and then murder one of my uncles, thus compelling me to use my ability to vaguely inconvenience drivers in parking lots responsibly and at great personal cost for the rest of my days...

Ungrateful...

So that new ipod? The one that was left in my car? (I've since spotted hobos sleeping in our garage, I guess they could be the culprit) I find the dial to be imprecise. Often I might touch the center button and find that I've also managed to just nudge the selection up or down one in the same motion, and I've selected the thing I don't want. Also, unlike the dial on the model I bought, I find this can be activated by coins and other pocket-dwelling objects, causing the volume to change of its own accord in my pocket. On the topic of must-be-stolen goods, some of pals have been singing the praises of GTA IV. Now, according to tradition, if the new console iteration is out, it's time for me to start playing the last version on PC. I loaded up San Andreas, and I probably didn't give it a fair shake, maybe not even totally out of the tutorialesque missions, but I wasn't hooked at all. Bored, perhaps, but not hooked. And I can't play this wonderous new thing, since I have neither PS3 nor 360. I just started a new gig though, which means income....but I still don't really want to shell out all the cash necessary: console, games, possibly accessories...I haven't an HD TV either. But...maybe a browse through craigslist.

I find a too-good-to-be-real deal. Console with HDD, three controllers, two headsets, guitar hero guitar, and over a dozen games, including the out-for-about-a-week GTA IV. For the price of the console alone in stores. I write in, since it's only been posted about 15 minutes, and I'm assured it's available. Bit of a drive, but worth it for the bargain. Will I be ripped off? Held up? Sold into white slavery?

It turns out, the answer's no. I say that I want to meet somewhere where I can see that the machine works - 360s are notorious for breaking down and I want to make sure this one isn't DOA. The seller ignores me and we agree to meet in a high school parking lot. I figure if the machine's dead, the price is good just for the extras. Scrawny kid shows up in a big pickup truck, with his scrawny buddy. Takes out the box of stuff. Of course, he's taped the box shut. I reach for my pocketknife, but it turns out he's taped the box shut so that he can pull out this comically large switchblade. 'Cause, y'know, he's tough. But he forgot the guitar, so he goes home to retrieve it. I do poke at him a bit about wasting his money on GTA if he was just going to sell the machine now, but all along I've been careful not to express too much interest in why he's cheating himself to such a degree. Don't want to scare him off, after all. Goods and cash change hands. We both scurry home, undoubtedly both sure we've won this encounter.

I power it up at home and...red lights! I'm neither surprised nor disappointed - I figure he didn't show me the working machine for a reason - it doesn't work. I even start planning to e-mail him and tell him it works great, to make him doubt himself for deciding to sell a broken piece of hardware, but then...the clouds part, and so do the red lights, giving way to green. Turns out, red lights are standard when no AV cables are detected. The system works great. GTA is okay, and I'm having fun with guitar hero (2 more than 3). I've yet to crack open the half dozen tom clancy licensed games or the other various titles - I plan to sell off most of it, maybe pay for the system. And there are still around 7 games out there that I might like to pick up some day, which for me is really all a console needs to be somewhat successful. Less than a dozen games, all especially strong, have been enough to put the gamecube and wii in the winner's column for me.

And so the door opens to yet more unconsumed recreation, floating about...

Tips for bolder living, #39

When volunteering in a crowd, it is best to assume that any pointing / choosing / calling upon made in your general direction refers to you specifically. This includes when positioned directly behind and directly ahead of other would-be volunteers, and when the chooser is blindfolded. This simple act of cheating will greatly increase your chances of selection or reception of a desirable situation. This has been another tip for BOLDER living!

Oh, brain...

So I had a dream that tonight's the big night, the official competition that a team I'm on / class group I'm in has been training for weeks to compete in has been practicing for. As far as I can tell, it's been a recurring dream, in which I've actually been progressing in time - it's not the SAME dream each time, but each time it comes around we do practice this event (which is similar to evacuating someone on a stretcher), and other things have been developing as we go...as the 'season' or series progresses. But what if it's not? What if the idea that it's the conclusion to a series of dreams is all a notion from this lone dream? I don't have any particular memory of pondering the other practices... I guess if we're going to get into that, I'd prefer the notion that this right now is the recurring dream other people are having....oh, brain!

So maybe I kinda do 'get' Blade Runner...maybe it just turns out that I'm not a sci-fi fan...

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