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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

#2,315: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

99 Homes - ★★★☆☆
I'm perpetually at my most delighted when I see a movie I've never heard of before it starts. This is a classic first-half movie: digging into the world and characters is fun, but when The Plot comes smashing down, the wheels start to come off.

Cop Car - ★★★★☆
Watched this out of Spider-hype as much as anything. The kids were younger than I was expecting. The movie was better than I was expecting. Somehow, the setting makes it feel like a solid double feature with 99 Homes. Good work, everybody!

Nocturnal Animals - ★☆☆☆☆
As the French would say, "pretentious nonsense." Marvel at the symbolism! Thrill to the incredible reading montage!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - ★★☆☆☆
It seems like Potter fans found it pretty satisfying, which is probably the most important thing, but it's kind of a weird movie. It's not that nothing happens so much as that the characters might not be relevant to the plot.