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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

#2,246: The Revenant (is terrible)

Short Term 12 - ★★★★★
With Hail, Caesar!, the second half of a double feature about the trials of administration. It's great.

Hail, Caesar! - ★★★½☆
Another Coen brothers movie about a million moving parts all coming together to assemble a greater whole in which nothing happens.

The Witch - ★★★☆☆
Man, as if frontier life wasn't hard enough. I like movies where I don't know exactly how it's going to turn out. It's probably too late for you, but with-a-full-audience is almost certainly the way to see this movie.

The Revenant - ★½☆☆☆
Impressive work by the technicians that assembled it, but so hollow inside. Like an incredibly high budget student film.

Sometimes it seems funny to me how people in LA applaud when a movie is over, even though of course the projector can't appreciate their applause, and yet this didn't stop me from rolling my eyes at this movie as hard as I could with each time wasting obstacle that appeared. Tom Hardy was a highlight, and I would bet on this movie to win the Cinematography Oscar, since it's probably the nominee with the most CG. I can't imagine rewarding a filmmaker with so much contempt for his audience, except of course it worked last year. (At least I hope it's contempt, because at least that would indicate he's doing this on purpose.)

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