Normal Website

Not a front for a secret organization.
Written by Rob Schultz (human).

Omegle #1

So there's this Omegle thing, which is about the same as the hyperintelligent notArt chat robot from like seven years ago.  Unlike the robot, which secretly connected you with another person also trying to talk to the supposed robot, this service admits that it is connecting you with an arbitrary stranger.   The important thing to note here is that this service is based on the INTERNET, so certain established theories immediately come into effect.   That being said....

 You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is 'I've just bought a car' and 10 is 'Which one of these drinks is mine?' how lonely would you say you feel right now?
 Stranger: hello
 You: Please, just a number.
 Stranger: 1
 You: Ah excellent.
 You: You may begin conversation now.
 Stranger: yeah
 You: Converse at any moment.
 Stranger: where are u ?
 You: The system is ready for you, you may begin.
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 You: On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is 'I've just bought a car' and 10 is 'Which one of these drinks is mine?' how lonely would you say you feel right now?
 Stranger: hellow
 You: Please, just a number.
 Stranger: english? spanish? portuguese?
 You: You may use numerals.
 Stranger: sorry
 Stranger: but i am brasilian
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 You: On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is 'I've just bought a car' and 10 is 'Which one of these drinks is mine?' how lonely would you say you feel right now?
 Stranger: o
 You: I should inform you, time is a factor in calibrating the system.
 Stranger: 7
 You: That is staggeringly lonely indeed.
 You: The system is ready.
 You: You may begin a conversation.
 Stranger: I will just blade at 45 degrees be fore disenGAGING
 You: Feel free to begin a conversation at your discretion.
 Stranger: YOU WILL NOT TOUCH MY WEAPON!!!!
 You: You may start conversing at your leisure.
 Stranger: OMG IT SPINS! 
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 Stranger: I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A GIRL LIKE THIS
 You: well what are you waiting for?
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 You: ...
 Stranger: yes
 You: ...
 Stranger: i can make tornados
 You: ...
 Stranger: yea 
You: ...
 Stranger: its true
 You: ...
 Stranger: oh yes
 You: ...
 Stranger: i do not lie
 You: ...
 Stranger: ooooh
 You: ...
 Stranger: gi joe
 You: ...
 Stranger: last one theres a penispump
 You: ...
 Stranger: h
 Stranger: ha
 You: ...
 Stranger: i got you
 You: ...
 Stranger: you should of done two i said two things
 You: ...
 Stranger: you fucked up
 You: ...
 Stranger: hahahaha
 You: ...
 Stranger: df
 Stranger: s
 You: ...
 Stranger:
 You: ...
 Stranger: see i did 3
 You: ...
 Stranger: assfuck
 You: ...
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
 
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 You: Ugh, you again.
 You have disconnected.

 You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 You: ...
 Stranger: hi
 You: ...
 Stranger: are we still on for tonight
 You: . . .
 Stranger: fuck you
 You: . . .
 Stranger: fhfhften
 Stranger: ntnnth
 You: . . .
 Stranger: hjtnt
 Stranger: tnj
 Stranger: njt
 Stranger: jn
 Stranger: jnhtnj
 Stranger: yht
 Stranger: jnth
 You: . . .
 Stranger: jn
 Stranger: te
 Stranger: jnt
 Stranger: jn
 Stranger: t
 Stranger: thj
 Stranger: jnh
 Stranger: htmn
 You: ia!
 You: ia!
 Stranger: just log off now
 You: fhtagn!
 Stranger: ntyn
 Stranger: i see you right now
 You: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
 Stranger: degyveyeyfeghrugherruhekhefhkujfhjhukjghjfhsjkkgdhgjrethrwkthwjffhrhwkuvthvuhkuvht2rugvh2
 You: moo
 Stranger: grr
 You: mulhaha!
 Stranger: up yours
 You: zwaHOOOM
 Stranger: homo
 You: ...
 Stranger: asl
 You: gfy
 Stranger: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

You: zoper yaha joejojo
 Stranger: are you a guy or girl
 You: shub niggurath!
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

ou're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 Stranger: 19/m
 You: I -will- win this one.
 You: I am a winner.
 You: ME
 You: Look, I'm winning right now.
 Stranger: aw man
 Stranger: i lost
 You: That's one for me.
 Stranger: eh papi eh pai
 You: fhtagn!
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 Stranger: ho money: it's yo money
 You: [denied]
 Stranger: what are you son?
 You: [EXPLETIVE!]
 Stranger: are you a whiteliberal?
 You: [OBSCENITY DELETED!]
 Stranger: i fart comics
 You: [ACTUALLY KIND OF CLEVER RACIAL SLUR OMITTED!]
 Your conversational partner has disconnected.