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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

#1,386: Disturbia

Movie roundup:

  • Zero Day - Z-Rob Day? More authentic feeling than Elephant, funny, and then of course the inevitable happens.
  • Idiocracy - Mostly didn't like it as much as I heard I should, excepting some of the jokes built around following a line of logic through to an extreme, like "the electrolytes (re: salt) plants crave!"
  • Slumdog Millionaire - Also less awesome than advertised. Until the (spoiler!) FULL CAST DANCE NUMBER kicks in! Woo!
  • Blindness - In which we learn that blind people are worthless. But still not as worthless as women.
  • Death Wish II - In which we learn how darn rapey LA is. Or hopefully, was.
  • Twilight Zone: The Movie - This movie takes 4 episodes of the classic TV show and makes them boring. It's almost as if this movie was made in....The Twilight Zone! (ps, thank heavens I haven't seen any Twilight-zone puns having to do with that vampire nonsense that went around lately)
  • The Golden Compass - In which we learn about how repulsive those filthy Egyptians are! Actually, this wasn't too bad, but it didn't always seem to be made for the kid audience it was presumably chasing. Also has one of the to-be-continuedest endings ever; too bad they won't be making the other two. That CG polar bear will never get his bottle of delicious coca-cola.
  • Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane - Way better than Snakes on a Plane, hands down.
  • Diary of the Dead - Liked it. Wonder if it was supposed to take place on the same day as 'Night of,' or if the Romero series isn't necessarily a continuous chronicle of the same outbreak. There's audio re-used from the 'Dawn of' remake, so maybe it fits in that timeline instead.
  • Out Cold - The secret to happiness is low expectations, so I liked this better than, say, co-star Zach Galifinakis suggested I might.
  • Bulletproof - This action movie parody starring Adam Sandler is played so straight I'll bet a bunch of viewers didn't even notice it was a comedy.
  • Over Her Dead Body - It's Ghost Town except with a girl seeing a ghost girl and dating her dude, instead of a dude seeing a ghost dude and dating his girl.
  • Sharks in Venice - Has sharks. Has Venice. Has some other stuff the makers half-remembered from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Ah, Venice!
  • Death Wish V: The Face of Death - Pretty confusing, since I haven't seen DW3 or DW4 yet. Between the lack of rape, the lack of plot-irrespective architecture scenes, and the more creative kills, it practically didn't feel like a Death Wish at all.
  • Seven Pounds - The more puzzling opening section of this was the most fun. Some nice little touches that weren't explicitly called out, even through the more formulaic second half. Liked it, not sure it would work.
  • Strictly Sexual - Two girls hire two guys to be live-in whores. Naturally, love ensues.
  • Disturbia - Rear Window. Explains too much. Better than the Reeve remake, I think. Probably one of Ben Savage Shia LeBoeuf's best roles, but that's not saying much.

Looks like only 6 or 8 for 17. Pretty mediocre lineup lately.