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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

He battlefield executed thousands of French...

Jerry Lewis really was a take-no-prisoners kind of guy. If you did something he didn't like, there's wouldn't be a question and answer session after the screening of a major motion picture, no sir, he'd just stab you thirteen, fourteen times, right in the throat with an umbrella and not a trick umbrella either, believe you me. That's all there was to it.

He was the kind of guy that didn't read books. Not because he didn't want to (which he didn't), but because he didn't *need* to. Do you know the procedure for an appendectomy? I guess it wasn't in any of those fancy books you've read, smart guy. Jerry Lewis knew exactly how it went down and why? Because he talked to surgeons. He watched the procedure. He learned from the school of life!

But "books" taught me that Andy Kaufman once got thrown off of a college television station for accidentally smearing desserts on the nice clean backdrop of their set.