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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

Kind of a waste of karma....

So I recently acquired the bag of Starburst™ Original Fruit Chews that you might have guessed had to be out there somewhere. Every bag of said candies you've ever gotten has had a disproportionately high quantity of lemon, right? It's because they were cribbing from bags like this one, with only five or so lemon total. They almost become a treat in that situation. Additionally, the bag of chicken contained exclusively pieces good for baking and enjoying, with none of the blobby, hard-to-cook-evenly-through chunks that I usually save for noodle dishes. And this ice cream before me contains a level of cookie that is reminescent of how the marketing folks would like you to think of the cheesiness-level of a bag of Cheetos™: Dangerous!

With all of this extremely mild good fortune getting spent on food items, one wonders what's around the bend. Oh. Of course. More editing. (And health problems! I've been fueling this edit with sweets I haven't had in a while..)