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Written by Rob Schultz (human).

#2,334: Land of Mine

Green Room - ★★★½☆
I liked this a lot more than Blue Ruin. Can't wait to see what color they make next!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot - ★★½☆☆
What makes this movie feel weird is the scenes that are written, but not shot, like a comedy. That and and all the plot someone crammed into the third act.

La La Land - ★★★☆☆
Really put this one off for a while, even though I liked Whiplash, because all of the buzz was making it feel like homework. It's really showy. If we play the Oscar™ best = most game, I think this wins for Most Directing.

Land of Mine - ★★★★☆
A good name for this movie would be "Dane-gerous Mines"

(That's a terrific joke, for a terrific movie. My pick for the foreign film Oscar™.)

Escape Room Reviews: Déja Vu

Company: Escape Era San Diego
Room: Déja Vu
Date Played: 2/19/17
Player Count: 2, which was just right.
Success:  Success!

Premise: You’ve received a package telling you to be at a certain place at a certain time. And the package is from… you!

Immersion: Middle of the road. The room feels a little bit cluttered, with a lot of stuff packed into a small space, and it's in no danger of being confused for the "real thing."  All of the props looked good though, and one element half way through is especially effective at drawing you into the story.

Highlights: I came out of this one riding high because I caught a few good solves in a row. (Unfortunately, that's because some of the puzzles are fairly single-player affairs.) There are some puzzles I haven't seen anywhere else, one of which is especially delightful because you'd think it would be everywhere. But it's not. It's just here. Along with a fair mix of locks and tech objects.

Lowlights: HUGE sequence breaking is possible in this game. Almost a third of the game is a chain that culminates in a hint for a puzzle that is available and solvable early on. We just happened to backtrack a little in the name of exploration, which turned out to be a waste of time. Actually, there was kind of a lot of backtracking. 

And Finally:  We did this room and The Diner in one afternoon, on the drive back from San Diego to Los Angeles from a DDMTA screening. On the day, my attitude towards both rooms was influenced pretty heavily by my own performance. If you've only got time for one or the other, The Diner is the better bet, but I'm still looking forward to Escape Era opening their awesome-sounding Video Arcade room. Out of 20 games played, this one clocks in at #10.

How to book this room yourself: Visit

#2,330: Gods of Egypt

Assassin's Creed - ★☆☆☆☆
I'm happy for Michael Fassbender and his new boat. I thought this was reasonably well directed, in that I generally could tell what was happening on screen, but badly written, in as much as I never had any idea what was going on in the movie.

Silence - ★★★☆☆
It may well be the point, but this is a tough movie to love. It sure doesn't help that it's being sold as a kind of 'men on a (ahem) mission' adventure, but I guess no one's going to line up for 'a catalog of incessant cruelty!'

JFK - ★★★★☆
Welp, I'm convinced!

Costner is good in his role as the engine of the thin veneer of plot Oliver Stone wraps around all of the 'evidence' he wants to lay out. Also, I've heard the John Williams theme to JFK for years, but the film itself turns those snares into something sinister...

Gods of Egypt - ½☆☆☆☆
It seems like right now everyone is going nuts for Hidden Figures. And while Hidden Figures is fine, and I'm glad we found out about those women and their story, it's not a great movie. I mean, it's not a Great Movie. It's good, there's nothing wrong with it. I just think that the average person going crazy for it doesn't see that many movies.

Likewise, when someone says that Batman v Superman is the worst movie of the year, or decade, or whatever; certainly it isn't a Great Movie either. Maybe it's even not-that-great of a movie, but those people aren't seeing everything that comes out. They might be vaguely aware, at the time it was released, that Gods of Egypt IS a movie, but of course they didn't see it. They just don't know how wide the gamut is. That 7/10 is the best movie you've ever seen and that 4/10 is the worst, but listen: the scale is from 1 to 10. Movies get even better. And so, so much worse.